Life Coach Susan asked me questions revolving around relationships, which are a very key part of life for each of us. Listen to the Ease and Joy podcast here. Enjoy!
Can you tell me how you take care of yourself before you take care of others?
The self-care piece of my life is very, very big. I learned a while ago my ability to be generous and to support others is contingent on my own self-care. Sleep is a big thing for me – I get my proper rest. For me, lack of sleep is like kryptonite to Superman. And doing whatever is healthy for me, such as proper eating. I’m not as consistent with exercise but I acknowledge that’s a way I could take even better care of myself. Honestly, my dishes are done before I go into coaching. There’s nothing in the back of my mind since I’ve de-cluttered my environment. From a spiritual and emotional perspective, I make sure I’m doing my own self development. I’ll spend 30 minutes to an hour a day, such as listening to brain wave in training CDs, listening to Abraham-Hicks CDs, doing a visualization with myself, or having a coaching session. Whatever it is on that particular day that appeals to me and feels like an inspired action. Once I do that, then I can be more available for others.
How do you ensure or keep the balance between family, work and social parts of your life?
I really look at how I can keep from getting into that overwhelm. I do everything I can to keep myself really healthy and happy and in a position to honor my commitments. Then as things do happen, I do readjust as needed. I’ll make changes, back out of things, or just stop what I’m doing. By the way, I’m a recovering “Type A.” When I was in business years ago and when I made a commitment, there was no way I wasn’t going to make it happen. I would just push through whatever it took. And now I don’t do that anymore. From my heart and soul I make a phone call and say, “Listen, I’m just not aligned with this right now. I’ve had a very tough week. Is there any way we can reschedule?” Renegotiating those commitments every once in a while. There are some times when my business is really busy, when I don’t see people for weeks at a time. And then sometimes things open up a little bit and I’ll start reaching out. I’m very lucky my friends will say, “Come on down!” I get a lot of invitations when people say, “If you’re up for it we’d love to have you. If not, that’s fine.” They keep sending me invitations, so that’s a good thing, too. 😉
I’m really honest about what’s going on with me (usually in the most gracious manner possible, but I do tear my hair out on the rare occasion, LOL), which helps to let people know how they can support me. Before I came into coaching, my friends and I would talk about problems and how we can solve them. Since I’ve come into coaching, now we talk about what’s working in our lives. We talk about our appreciation. We find a lot of joy. These friendships just fill me up. We’re not always talking about how we can improve ourselves. We do improve a lot, but it’s from a positive focus viewpoint.
What do you do when you experience parts of running your business that you find you don’t really want to do?
My mantra is, “Success with Ease and Joy.” When I first started coaching, I didn’t want to get spend money right away in my fledgling business. I wanted to do a lot of it by myself. So if there was a task I didn’t like to do, I’d ask myself, “Is there any way I could make this more fun? Is there any way I could align with wanting to do it, can I tweak this somehow?” For example I had been a financial planner and I was tired of numbers. So when it came time to do my taxes, I found myself experiencing this dread energy. But as I began to go through my files, I was delighted to recall everybody I took to lunch, all the trips I made, and all the training I got, and thought this is kind of fun looking over the year of what I’ve done. I was starting to get excited about it and connect with it in a different way.
What tools do you use when you start feeling overwhelm or over busy in your coaching business?
I say a prayer, “I don’t really want to do this. Please show me a way I can align with this, or bring me somebody, or have me read a paragraph in a book that gives me the information I need, so that I can find a way that this can be done easily.” I like to use the Abraham-Hicks Placemat Process. I write the things I like to do on my to-do list. And on the other side of my paper, I write the things I would like to delegate to the Universe. I have a To-DO list and a Ta-DA list! I’ll say here are the things I’m really, really excited about doing and so I’m going to do these today. Here are the things I’m not as excited about doing and so I’ll just leave those to synchronicity to see if something happens that can help me. Of course if it has to be done and I’m not aligned with it, I’ll go the old fashioned route and just do it. 🙂 But there are very few of those left.
Can you share with us your tips for living in extreme joy and ease?
Know my values, my purpose and what I’m really about in this world. Know what brings me extreme joy and what’s really easy for me. Get a coach for support!
People may not even know what brings them joy. When I first came into coaching, it was a process for me to find out what brought me joy and what was easy. I was smart, so I could figure out how to do a lot of stuff. So I wasn’t really sure if it was going to be easy or not; it almost didn’t matter! My question before was could I do it or not? Well, I could do a lot of stuff! So now I know myself, what really brings me joy, what makes things easy for me.
I could not do what I do if I didn’t have coaching to help me out. Maybe you’re saying to yourself, “I can’t afford a coach.” If you’re a student, exchange with someone in your class. Beg, borrow, whatever has to happen to make sure you receive coaching. Join a group coaching program. Coaching is so helpful to me. Coaching is where I clear out my gremlins. Coaching is where hesitations and doubts first appear, and I can release them before they become big. If I don’t have coaching, it is so hard for me to go into ease and joy because then I’m on the fly, I’m in my own little world, and I’m not really allowing all the gremlins and all of that stuff to be cleared. I can’t afford not to have a coach.