The Power of Intuition

This week’s featured encore is the debut broadcast of Lydia Mattison’s Empowering Space BlogTalkRadio show where I had the great honor of being her very first guest. Lydia’s art is in using guidance cards with coaching. It’s a call-in program so that you can experience the empowerment of coaching in this interesting format.

Despite some minor call-in challenges in the first few moments of the show, here’s what Lydia had to say about the event: “What a riot, but great fun!” It was fun, we had a great time together, while discussing a very enlightening topic.

Lydia and I talked about the power of intuition and ways to strengthen and develop your intuitive muscle. Listen to The Power of Intuition BlogTalkRadio interview here. Enjoy!

Who inspires me?

Synchronicity is one way that intuition appears in my life. I was working 60-70 hours a week in estate planning and I wanted to get out but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I met up with this woman who really inspired me. She was a multi-millionaire, very free, a beautiful charitable person. We were at dinner one night and she looked across the table at me and she said, “The talk we had the day before gave me more inspiration than the entire week I spent at Deepak Chopra’s center” – which by the way costs $10,000. I thought to myself, “Wow, one dinner with me = $10,000!” It was so inspring to me I thought, “I can really do this!” I’ve had many mentors along the way. Another person who inspires me and has mentored me is former International Coach Academy CEO, Bronwyn Bowery-Ireland. What an amazing leader and inspiration. Bronwyn can sense what’s going on. She’ll ask these questions and I’m not even sure where the questions are coming from – those are intuitive questions, they’re spot on, and they cause a shift in me.

My “Twilight Zone” intuition experience

A few years ago, I was spending New Year’s in Chicago with my sister. One of her girlfriends came to the house and we were having a nice dinner relaxing and chatting. All of a sudden I got this really strange idea in my mind and I said, “You know, Kathy, I think you’re going to leave your job in the coming year.” She said, “Oh I don’t think so, my daughter’s in college…” and while she was somewhat unhappy in her job, it was a good job, it paid well, there was no apparent reason that she was going to leave. So she was saying to me, “I think you’re wrong Karen, even though I think you’re usually so right. But if I were to leave my job, what date do you think would that be?” I told her not past March. Wouldn’t you know, on April 1^st I got a call from my sister’s cell, “Kathy has something she wants to tell you!” Then Kathy got on the phone, “Yesterday was my last day at my job. I totally forgot about our conversation until your sister reminded me just now.” This is one of those times when I had a twilight zone intuitive experience!

What is intuition?

To me intuition is a gut-level feeling. I really am a subscriber to vibrational energy. We are all balls of energy. I can feel that something’s either totally right, or not right. BOOM, you know it. Or if I meet somebody and everything looks perfect, but if I get this weird feeling that something’s not quite right, and it doesn’t even come with a thought. There’s something coming through me that’s outside of my normal cognition. I know my brain is very strong, I really know that. I know it’s not coming from my brain. There’s something else that’s giving me information. Intuition is one of the greatest gifts of my life. Growing up, I was getting all these intuitive impressions and I didn’t know what to do with them. At first I totally discounted my intuition. I’d approach it empirically. If I can’t see it-taste it-touch it-smell it, then it’s not true. Here’s the funny thing that happened to me though…when my friends got in trouble, when they had decisions to make, when anybody wanted to do anything, they’d always call me, “What do you think I should do?” This was before I was a coach, before I knew not to give anybody the answers, “go here, go there, do that.” They’d come back for the next thing, because it worked. I was the only one not listening to me. Finally there was this AHA moment that everybody’s asking me these questions and I’m not listening to my own answers. You hear things like, “Let’s give this person a second chance.” Or, “Don’t go by your first impression, get to know somebody.” My first impression is my intuition and it’s usually right!

Why don’t we trust our intuition?

For me I had never been taught. Intuition is on the continuum of psychic power. I’ve heard a story about when psychic Sylvia Browne was a young girl. She was sitting at the dinner table and she had a disturbing vision where she saw one of her grandmothers as a skeleton, all her flesh melting off. And a week later that grandmother died. And she was so afraid because she thought that she had caused her grandmother to die by seeing her that way. Sylvia’s other grandmother had a high intuition and said, “Look you didn’t cause it, you just saw that it was going to happen.” And her grandmother took her under her wing and nurtured her and helped her understand the power she had and how to use it. I always go back to that story because I didn’t have anyone in my life that was ahead of me as a mentor until I was well into my adulthood. I learned to trust myself on the fly. For example my grad school roommate would tease me that every time I’d say, “I wonder how so and so is doing,” they would call me that night. I wasn’t even aware I was doing these things till she pointed them out to me. And then I started listening. I got a thought, I started listening, and things started happening. That’s how I knew.

As Lydia illuminated during our interview, every single human being has intuition. She explained, the reason why it’s important in coaching is because we believe every person has the answers to their own questions within them. It’s very important to help our clients learn to develop their intuition and to trust what’s coming up for them. It’s the questions that help us uncover more about ourselves. To expand yourself, ask new questions that will take you in new directions.

There’s another part to intuition that’s really important. There’s something about allowing, relaxing, surrendering, letting go…there’s something that happens when I let go and I’m in a more allowing space where the intuitive hits come up a lot easier. I can really relate to using the Doreen Virtue Goddess Cards and Cheryl Richardson’s cards. I use these cards as “an aid to the intuition of the uninitiated.” I usually take a tropical trip with my sister every year. She works with a lot of high achievers in mortgage lending and these guys are really “in their minds,” but they’re very intuitive because they’re in sales. They use their intuition, even though they don’t talk about it much. I would be with this group and my sister would say, “Karen will do these readings for everybody.” So I would take the deck of cards, shuffle them, be by the pool and everyone’s having some margaritas. I’d say, “Put 3 cards facedown and ask a question you want a bit more insight on.” All the time they thought I’d be reading these cards. I’d say, “Turn over the cards, ok that’s the current situation. This card says strength. What does that mean to you about your current situation?” And they’ll talk back with all this stuff and I’ll just repeat back what I’ve heard. They think that I’m really wise. They don’t even realize. It puts them in an allowing state. There’s no resistance. It’s fun, it’s easy, and they really believe that I’m doing this. It puts them in a place where they say what they’re going to say and they can hear their intuition.

How can we distinguish authentic intuition from vivid imagination?

Let’s say a person is in front of me and they’re smiling at me. I can look into their eyes and I can see if it’s a genuine and authentic smile or if it’s not. If I get a feeling, an intuition, a symbol or if a thought comes into my head, there’s a certain feeling that comes along with it, it’s intuition. The only way I know that is through the years I’ve learned to distinguish between the two. I’d watch the things that played out, and I learned to notice that my intuition has a certain quality of energy with which it comes to me. If somebody gives me a gift out of love or out of wanting something from me, it can be the same exact gift or given in the exact same manner, but there’s a feeling that goes along with it that I know the difference.

Exercise to develop your intuition:

Write a love letter to yourself. You will be amazed at what you uncover about yourself!

Lydia’s online radio show, Empowering Space – Your Hour of Power is a wonderful program designed to support people in making powerful changes in their lives and create the life they truly desire. I’d like to acknowledge Lydia for being a fabulous host!

I hope you receive as much joy from listening to this interview as I did in giving it. I know that its contents will serve you well.

Seeking Balance, with Ease and Joy

In this podcast I was interviewed by Susan Merz-Anderson at Inspiring-Self-Improvement.com  who inspires and empowers her clients to create more love, joy, fun and freedom in their lives.

Life Coach Susan asked me questions revolving around relationships, which are a very key part of life for each of us. Listen to the Ease and Joy podcast here. Enjoy!

Can you tell me how you take care of yourself before you take care of others?

The self-care piece of my life is very, very big. I learned a while ago my ability to be generous and to support others is contingent on my own self-care. Sleep is a big thing for me – I get my proper rest. For me, lack of sleep is like kryptonite to Superman. And doing whatever is healthy for me, such as proper eating. I’m not as consistent with exercise but I acknowledge that’s a way I could take even better care of myself. Honestly, my dishes are done before I go into coaching. There’s nothing in the back of my mind since I’ve de-cluttered my environment. From a spiritual and emotional perspective, I make sure I’m doing my own self development. I’ll spend 30 minutes to an hour a day, such as listening to brain wave in training CDs, listening to Abraham-Hicks CDs, doing a visualization with myself, or having a coaching session. Whatever it is on that particular day that appeals to me and feels like an inspired action. Once I do that, then I can be more available for others.

How do you ensure or keep the balance between family, work and social parts of your life?

I really look at how I can keep from getting into that overwhelm. I do everything I can to keep myself really healthy and happy and in a position to honor my commitments. Then as things do happen, I do readjust as needed. I’ll make changes, back out of things, or just stop what I’m doing. By the way, I’m a recovering “Type A.” When I was in business years ago and when I made a commitment, there was no way I wasn’t going to make it happen. I would just push through whatever it took. And now I don’t do that anymore. From my heart and soul I make a phone call and say, “Listen, I’m just not aligned with this right now. I’ve had a very tough week. Is there any way we can reschedule?” Renegotiating those commitments every once in a while. There are some times when my business is really busy, when I don’t see people for weeks at a time. And then sometimes things open up a little bit and I’ll start reaching out. I’m very lucky my friends will say, “Come on down!” I get a lot of invitations when people say, “If you’re up for it we’d love to have you. If not, that’s fine.” They keep sending me invitations, so that’s a good thing, too. 😉

I’m really honest about what’s going on with me (usually in the most gracious manner possible, but I do tear my hair out on the rare occasion, LOL), which helps to let people know how they can support me. Before I came into coaching, my friends and I would talk about problems and how we can solve them. Since I’ve come into coaching, now we talk about what’s working in our lives. We talk about our appreciation. We find a lot of joy. These friendships just fill me up. We’re not always talking about how we can improve ourselves. We do improve a lot, but it’s from a positive focus viewpoint.

What do you do when you experience parts of running your business that you find you don’t really want to do?

My mantra is, “Success with Ease and Joy.” When I first started coaching, I didn’t want to get spend money right away in my fledgling business. I wanted to do a lot of it by myself. So if there was a task I didn’t like to do, I’d ask myself, “Is there any way I could make this more fun? Is there any way I could align with wanting to do it, can I tweak this somehow?” For example I had been a financial planner and I was tired of numbers. So when it came time to do my taxes, I found myself experiencing this dread energy. But as I began to go through my files, I was delighted to recall everybody I took to lunch, all the trips I made, and all the training I got, and thought this is kind of fun looking over the year of what I’ve done. I was starting to get excited about it and connect with it in a different way.

What tools do you use when you start feeling overwhelm or over busy in your coaching business?

I say a prayer, “I don’t really want to do this. Please show me a way I can align with this, or bring me somebody, or have me read a paragraph in a book that gives me the information I need, so that I can find a way that this can be done easily.” I like to use the Abraham-Hicks Placemat Process. I write the things I like to do on my to-do list. And on the other side of my paper, I write the things I would like to delegate to the Universe. I have a To-DO list and a Ta-DA list! I’ll say here are the things I’m really, really excited about doing and so I’m going to do these today. Here are the things I’m not as excited about doing and so I’ll just leave those to synchronicity to see if something happens that can help me. Of course if it has to be done and I’m not aligned with it, I’ll go the old fashioned route and just do it. 🙂  But there are very few of those left.

Can you share with us your tips for living in extreme joy and ease?

Know my values, my purpose and what I’m really about in this world. Know what brings me extreme joy and what’s really easy for me. Get a coach for support!

People may not even know what brings them joy. When I first came into coaching, it was a process for me to find out what brought me joy and what was easy. I was smart, so I could figure out how to do a lot of stuff. So I wasn’t really sure if it was going to be easy or not; it almost didn’t matter! My question before was could I do it or not? Well, I could do a lot of stuff! So now I know myself, what really brings me joy, what makes things easy for me.

I could not do what I do if I didn’t have coaching to help me out. Maybe you’re saying to yourself, “I can’t afford a coach.” If you’re a student, exchange with someone in your class. Beg, borrow, whatever has to happen to make sure you receive coaching. Join a group coaching program. Coaching is so helpful to me. Coaching is where I clear out my gremlins. Coaching is where hesitations and doubts first appear, and I can release them before they become big. If I don’t have coaching, it is so hard for me to go into ease and joy because then I’m on the fly, I’m in my own little world, and I’m not really allowing all the gremlins and all of that stuff to be cleared. I can’t afford not to have a coach.

How do you tend to self-care, relationship-tending, and balance? We would love to share your stories below!

When Is It Time to Re-Focus or Renew Client Objectives?

In this podcast I am interviewed by Jamee Tenzer who is a professional certified life and career coach for working mothers and women in the entertainment industry. She is a published writer and a Facilitator and Trainer for the International Coach Academy. Jamee interviewed me about integrity in the coaching process as we discussed some case scenarios of everyday coaching interactions. Jamee’s website is http://jameetenzer.com.

During the podcast I shared that I really loved Jamee’s questions. And with her usual quick wit Jamee replied, “I figure I have 20-25 minutes with a master coach here, I’d better come up with some good questions.” Indeed she did. You can listen to the Re-Focus or Renew Client Objectives podcast here. Enjoy!

In terms of having a potential client really get the potential value of coaching for them, what is the most important aspect of that initial complimentary conversation?

It’s all about my own level of personal presence. To me that is the most important thing I can bring to the complimentary conversation. I have certain states of being. My coaching state of being is different than my regular state of being. I drop into a universal energy and I get into a state where I’m really clear and almost empty of myself, just really allowing myself to receive whatever it is that my client wants to give, and to be able to give back from that inspired state – from the emptiness and the void and the spiritual state. I can tell when I’m in that state and also when I’m not in that state. It’s not an either/or thing; it’s kind of a continuum.

The deeper I can connect with my truest, deepest self and tap into that universal consciousness and be present for my client in that state of being is what I believe to be the value of coaching. It doesn’t matter what I do. I could follow an outline or not, I could say all the right things or not, I can enroll the client or not. The most important aspect is that I get into that state of being and stay there for my client. That’s when the miracles happen. That’s when the magic of coaching happens.

I was really privileged to meet former International Coach Academy CEO, Bronwyn Bowery-Ireland, and I asked her this one question about when I was interviewed for the Foundation Coach Coordinator and Trainer position at International Coach Academy. I had not gone to ICA, Bron hadn’t previously known me, yet she still offered me the position. I asked what it was that caused her to move forward with me. Bron replied, “When I had a conversation with you it was very smooth. Everything lined up, everything was really smooth in the energy.” I thought that was such a fascinating statement. When I get into a complimentary conversation with somebody I’m meant to coach, it’s very smooth, it just flows and it moves and the energy moves and my prospective client knows it, too.

What do you do if a client comes to a session with no issues and “nothing” to talk about?

Since our clients are so used to coming with an agenda, acknowledge they may be feeling like something’s wrong with them if they don’t have a topic prepared. So the very first thing I say to my client is, “This could be one of the best sessions we’ve ever had. That’s when we really can allow a deep conversation. Maybe your conscious doesn’t really know what it is and maybe this is a chance to look to the unconscious for something that wants to be talked about.” Most of my clients think that’s extremely exciting.

I might say, “Just say give me a minute and let me look over my notes from the last couple sessions and see if I notice anything.” – What I’m doing is looking intuitively to see if something jumps out at me, to look at those words and I’ll offer that. Or I could say, “Let us close our eyes for a moment and let’s just connect with our own inner wisdom. We’ll take a minute of silence and see if anything is coming through for us to talk about. We’ll think about what might be valuable to do at this time.” – When I do that, 99% of the time, the client comes up with something because I’ve just taken away the pressure.

What do you do when you feel that a client is ready to complete coaching, but they don’t seem to be talking about it…how do you start that conversation?

If you’re feeling called to say something to the client, then that’s listening to your intuition and it sounds as though you’re wondering how to honor them as you share your feedback. I might lead with, “Can we take just a few minutes today and revisit the goals we started with?” (I use a welcome package that includes a question, “Why are you hiring me as your coach?” to use as my guide.) I would then ask whether this goal was still current. The client will come to conclusion that they have completed it, or not, and here’s why. This helps refocus the conversation to affirm whether coaching is valuable still at this time.

One client I had did so much work in 4 months that I really felt he was complete. I shared, “I’m getting a sense here that you’re really complete with this goal. You’ve got some requests that are going to be long-term. Do you want to meet again in a month or two?” My client appreciated my directness and expressed relief, as he had wanted to honor our coaching commitment. Then I left it open, “Would you like to make an appointment, or contact me when you’re ready?” Depending on the client, that kind of directness can be really helpful. Using your intuition, decide how direct or subtle your client likes to receive messages.

Is it ethical to charge a corporation more than you charge an individual for coaching? If so, how is that justified?

With corporate clients, I think about what the market will bear and perception – for example, they may perceive that I’m not as good if I’m not charging a high enough rate. I notice this myself that when I see something that’s too in-expensive I will hesitate to purchase, but if it has a regular price simply marked down, then I’m all for it. When I’m working with an individual I’m going to offer a savings. There’s an established model out there – take dentistry. There’s a certain fee for those who have insurance, yet members without insurance would receive a private pay rate. I recognize that an individual does not have the same resources as a corporation and the percentage of their investment is going to be higher than the percentage of corporate investment to return.

How can you tell the difference between clients who are not interested in coaching now and potential clients that will never be interested…in other words, who to keep in touch with?

These are the people in your “marketing funnel.” They haven’t said yes and they haven’t said no, exactly. I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule. The master sales coach would probably say until you hear a no, keep going. It takes 5-7 contacts before people move forward. If I make 7 contacts and I haven’t heard one thing back, I might stop. I would check in with my intuition. I would be inclined to keep those people on my mailing list until they unsubscribe. I do have examples of people who have called me a couple years later and said, “Our session really made an impression on me. I’d like to start coaching with you now.” So you never know. If it was an individual person I wanted to really follow up with and I’ve made my 7 contacts, yet I wasn’t hearing back from them, I might send a card. “I contacted you and I understand we’re both living these really busy lives. The next step is yours. If you’d like to take me up on my offer you can let me know any time and I’ll be here for you.” If I needed the closure, that’s what I’d do.

What are coaching encounters you’ve had that inspired you to approach a scenario differently, or that pleasantly surprised you and you’ve included in your process ever since? We would love to share your stories below!

Client Attraction through Inspired Actions

In this podcast, Jeneth Blackert of http://www.jeneth.com interviewed me about client attraction through inspired actions. Jeneth, LLC is a change agent for the new wealth experience.

You can listen to the Client Attraction through Inspired Actions podcast here.

Jeneth and Karen spent an insightful 30 minutes discussing Karen’s spiritual steps – and her inspired actions – for booking public speaking engagements, and attracting new clients. Jeneth posed questions about marketing through spiritual intelligence and the Law of Attraction.

Learn Karen’s secrets about what she calls her “inner game” – as well as the “outer game” of creation – whether it’s getting new clients or developing your public speaking engagement list.

Your Inner Game determines 80% of your success at booking speaking engagements.

The inner game includes your personal presence as a coach, receiving your speaking topic, and engaging in “Astral Advertising.”

Your Personal Presence as a Coach

One of the first things I do every day is get my personal presence really strong. I could use any kind of technique for clearing myself, letting go of limiting beliefs, NLP and EFT – so many of these coaching tools are available. I clear myself and maximize my personal presence before I do anything. As Jeneth shared, “Create space in your body so your Fairy Godmother can get in and give you your wishes.”  🙂

Receiving Your Topic

The second part of this is to prepare myself so that I’ve created the space to RECEIVE my topic, instead of getting into my head about what to do. For instance, if I look on my bookshelf and notice how many books I’ve collected about a particular topic, that is a good indication of my heightened interest. I’ll also ask myself before I go to bed what would be a really good topic for me to speak about, and it’ll be foremost in my mind when I wake up. The speech will be about something that I find myself so compelled, so excited, so passionate to talk about. The foundation is receiving a topic that you are completely excited about, and this really helps you to book your speaking engagement.  Within a minute or two of sharing your topic with people, you’re going to bring people in.

The deeper that my topic comes from inside me, the more energy, excitement, enthusiasm, and passion I will have when I’m speaking about it. The law of attraction works with my energy. The more excited I am with my topic, the easier it is to attract people to that topic.

Astral Advertising

There’s more to this personal presence that I stumbled upon accidentally when I first started coaching. I love to speak so I booked speaking engagements in Tucson with some Rotary luncheons and even a few breakfasts (not too many, I’m not great in the morning, LOL). The week before I’d have a speaking engagement, in the time before I’d go to sleep, I did what I call, “Astral Advertising.” I would visualize the people that needed to have this information. I’d energetically connect from person to person for the entire week before. Then I would go to sleep. My intention was that during my sleep time (because I like to leverage my time!) I would be connecting spirit to spirit. When I woke up, in the morning or sometime during the next day, I would be filled with ideas of what to put into my speech or receive some questions to include, and take inspired actions based on that “spirit to spirit” info I was receiving.

I did get a lot of intuitive hits about what to include or tweak in my speech. What fascinated me is that when I arrived at the speaking engagement and while I was welcoming everyone, I really felt a sense of familiarity with the people in the room, as if I had known them already. I had no hesitation speaking, even though I had never met the listeners face to face before.

Incidentally, Jeneth and I used this intuitive method to connect with each other. 😉

Your Outer Game comprises 20% of the success you’ll experience, though many of us have grown up thinking actions were far more important.

The outer game works when we’re taking inspired actions as a result of the inner game.

What is the #1 way to get new speaking engagements?

The #1, easiest, most natural way I have found to book speaking engagements, is by referral through other people. Often I’ll say, “I’d like to have some speaking engagements, what groups do you belong to?” And often the response is, “Oh Karen, we’d love to have you speak at our group!”

One great example is that a friend of mine said, “You know, Karen, you remind me of this woman who spoke to our group and she was fantastic. You two should really meet for coffee.” So we did and as I was telling this woman about my signature speech she said to me, “I did this speaking circuit of 10 events. Here are the names of the program chairs.” She gave me the names and numbers of all 10 program chairs, right then and there. And I was able to use her name when I reached out to the program chairs. They’d say to me, “Oh, she was such a good speaker, and we’d love to have you, Karen.” Talk about synchronicity and being in my own energy – I was filling in for several cancellations and it really just worked out incredibly well.

Can “cold calls” work for you? (And how can you make it “less cold”?!)

As with any inspired action, I would recommend cold calling only in the case of first getting into your personal presence, clearing, preparing your signature speech. But yes, it works! I had the best speaking engagement of my life for two years at Catalyst Ranch in Arizona, the #3 spa in the world. I had been there a couple of times and it had been my dream to speak at Catalyst Ranch. My coach partner and I had cold called them because we were excited about it. The night before our meeting I did Astral Advertising and connected with the woman we’d been meeting. The next day my partner and I discussed our pitch and prepared ourselves for how we’d sell it. Then when we arrived, the woman in charge of speaking engagements handed us this calendar and said, “Here, book yourself for two speeches a month.” We asked, “Don’t you want to ask us any questions?” She replied, “Right now we need speakers.” Wouldn’t you know, a month later they were all booked up again. I’m sure they audition everyone nowadays!

Do keep in mind when booking, some people will simply say no. Just stay with the process. Go back to the personal presence. Go back to the clearing. Go back to the Astral Advertising. Until you feel strong and confident and clear and then take your inspired actions.

I want to thank Jeneth for sparking this uplifting conversation!

What are some inspired actions that delighted you with amazing results? We would love to share your stories below!

Boundaries in Spiritual Coaching

In this 25 minute podcast, I was interviewed by Joanne Stein of www.bestcoach4u.com. Joanne is a Joyologist, Potentializer and Success Coach with over 20 years’ experience helping others to experience more joy, prosperity and success. The subject is, “Boundaries in Spiritual Coaching,” and I know you’ll find it fascinating to listen to the repartee around these questions.

You can listen to the Boundaries in Spiritual Coaching here.

What is your experience of bringing spirituality into your practice? In other words, do you let your clients know that you are a spiritual coach, or do you simply utilize your spiritual practices “under the radar”?

That’s something that’s really tailored to the individual client. I’ve really evolved into this. When I first started coaching, I was coaching a lot of entrepreneurs who were very spiritual people and some of them knew it and some of them didn’t. So initially I did not include mentions of spirituality on my website or business cards or in my speaking. I never called what I was doing as “spiritual” – I called it business coaching or life coaching – yet I would talk about spiritual principles. Now I wouldn’t use terminology such as “the law of attraction,” but I would say “based on attraction principles.” The reason I didn’t come right out and say it was because business people were resistant to it. There were still lots of folks hungry for that knowledge and wanting to create that way, but not quite willing to state that. And frankly, I wasn’t willing to state it. And the people I was attracting didn’t necessarily want to talk about spiritual principles “over the radar.”

Once I got involved with coaching and as I’ve evolved, I’ve been attracting more and more spiritual people and coaches to my practice, and I started to put it out there on my website. Five years ago I said that’s it. It’s been an evolution for me; it was all about me and my readiness. It would have thrown my energy off if I had talked overtly about spirituality, before I was ready. When I WAS ready, then people came.

How do you stay positive when your coaching schedule isn’t as full as you want it to be? How do you get the support you need?

If I were to say to myself I want to stay positive, that would put a bit of pressure on me. If I say that I always focus in a positive direction, that eases it up for me a bit. It releases resistance and possibility of self-criticism. One way that I stay focused on a positive direction is that I have regular coaching. 😉

Coaching is the answer for everything for me. At any given time in my practice I’ve had between 1 and 3 coaches. And I’d say for about 80% of the time I’ve been coaching, I’ve had 2 or more coaches.

Currently I have 3 coaches. One coach focuses on marketing my business because that’s her specialty. Another coach is a personal coach who’s been my coach for many years. So I bring my history and she’s seen my evolution. More recently I’ve been working with a coach on physical fitness and health. Because of our schedules, I’m usually able to get 1 or 2 coaching sessions a week with any of the three of them, so whatever’s on my mind, whatever’s just happened, I bring to my coach – no matter which coach I happen to be meeting with. They help me to focus on the positive for example, when I have gaps in my schedule. Always bring it to coaching. If my energy is off, a coaching session will really help me align it. It doesn’t matter which coach and which subject. Any coach I have, I can bring my whole self.

What do you do when a friend calls and wants advice? How do you set boundaries if you decide to coach friends? (And, should you charge for your time?)

This idea of coaching friends. Is it right to coach our friends because those are the people that know us? I did. If you feel you can coach your friends and maintain boundaries then great, but otherwise I wouldn’t go down this path. I explained this is what the coaching relationship is like, if we ever find it’s getting in way of our friendship, (you or me) we’re going to bring it to the table.

I was also charging my friends for my coaching services. I gave them a discount in the beginning because most of them had known me before, they were my first level of clientele and I had wanted to get my coaching practice rolling. I would tell them my regular fees are X and I really want to give you a little bit of a discount because we’re friends. My friends are like me, and I always like a bit of a sale (I love shopping at Loehmann’s!). I felt when I coached my friends, I didn’t have to establish as much of a coaching relationship. It worked out really well for me. I still do to this day. My sister asked me to coach her assistant (who was thrilled). When I offered a discount to my sister, she said she wanted to pay full price.

The other part of this is that I’m a big proponent of competency-based training which is a fancy phrase for saying, “acknowledging what I want to see in the behavior of others.” So when my friends did listen to me with full acceptance without giving me advice I would say to them, “I really appreciate how you’re listening to me. I’m listening to others all day. It makes me so happy that I have someplace that somebody can listen to me.” I would reinforce that with them.

How do you determine if therapy or coaching is the right modality for a given client?

The biggest reason I want to find the best and right modality for the client is that I want them to be well! I can tell as a coach if things aren’t working and I’ll say something. One is if I get a feeling – every spiritual coach has a high intuition and feelings and a sense of what’s going on. For example, if I’m in an initial complimentary session and I have a feeling of a victim mentality – whether I hear “I statements” or “you statements,” that gives me a hint of what the client needs. I may also ask, “On a scale from 1-10, how responsible are you for what happens in your life?” I can also simply listen to the way they’re speaking.

Early in my coaching career, a woman had called me in tears, “I need an emergency coaching session!” I said, ok come by to the office. She’s sobbing in my arms. She was really upset about the state of her marriage. I said I think you need marriage counseling with your husband. She said she had already done that and it didn’t work. “I want coaching and I want you.” So I responded, “Listen we’ll coach for a month (foundation + 3 weekly) and at the end we will check in with each other. If you are making some progress, then we’ll know. If you’re not, would you be willing at that time to go to a therapist?” She agreed. But you know what, she made so much progress and coaching turned out to be exactly the right step for her. We coached together for a couple of years, and within a few months she even took a big driving trip with her husband. So determine what’s right for a client by using all your best skills, refer them if you get a feeling, and make a deal with them if you have any hesitation as a coach. Say, “OK we’ll start coaching and check in after a month.” And then you’ll know.

Again, thank you, Joanne, for your great questions!

What are some boundaries you’ve established or that your coach uses, that you find to be really effective? Please share your tips below.

The Nuts and Bolts of Coaching

In this 24 minute podcast, I was interviewed by Joanne Stein of www.bestcoach4u.com. Joanne is a Joyologist, Potentializer and Success Coach with over 20 years’ experience helping others to experience more joy, prosperity and success. Joanne’s questions revolved around the logistics of coaching, the “nuts and bolts,” if you will.

You can listen to The Nuts and Bolts of Coaching podcast here.

{Please note that Karen shares some technological tips and pricing towards the end of the interview. As the podcast was originally recorded in October 2006, any mention of technology/pricing is subject to change. As Karen mentioned, technology choice is a personal decision and should be researched.}

At what point do you know you need (virtual) assistance?

I went for about three years before I hired a virtual assistant in my business. I live and swim and even enjoy a certain amount of overwhelm. It feels good to me when I’m having fun and I’m doing activities. But there’s a certain point where it gets to be too much for me. I once shared with my coach, “I cannot do this anymore, I have too many things to do, I’m getting too many things going, I’m starting to lose it.” My coach naturally explored further and we discussed if I knew of anyone (which I did!). Then my coach requested that I give her a call. I had 33 administrative items on my to do list that day, I was totally overwhelmed and not inspired to do any of them.

I reached out to Kim Stacey who I had worked with previously in another capacity. Kim is a copywriter – and I approached her by saying, “I don’t know if you’d like to do this – I really love the way that we work together and the rapport that we have.” I made her an offer and she said yes. I gave her that whole list of 33 items. In 8 hours, she cleared the list. I was just amazed! I was so happy!

Quite frankly my resistance was that I simply didn’t know how long it would take to handle these administrative tasks, nor if I could even afford to outsource them all. Kim and I worked together really well. I simply set up guidelines, “If you need more than 10 hours a week, please send me an email.” It turned out that she was putting in about 8 hours a week (roughly 32 hours per month). I was almost getting back a whole week of my time! Which in turn allowed me to create revenue opportunities such as developing curriculums and creating information products. Hiring a virtual assistant took away activities I didn’t like. My energy shot up and I was able to do a whole lot more. Having a virtual assistant really helped me increase my income!

How do you find your spiritual clients?

For the most part my spiritual clients find me. I made a conscious decision to speak about spirituality “front and center,” to really talk about it, share it. The more I spoke about it, the more people found me. I will speak about spirituality anywhere! Consider workshops and places where people hang out, like metaphysical bookstores, unity church, Wayne Dyer seminars, Sonia Choquette seminars. Those are places where a lot of spiritual people are congregating.

Mostly what I find is that people loved to be listened to. As coaches, we know how to listen. When I’m at these events, I listen. I might ask a couple questions just because I’m interested. And naturally, the person will respond with, “What do you do?” I share that I specialize in working with new coaches on business development who want to create practices through spiritual principles. Then they might say, “I’m not a coach, but I would love to learn” and we get into a dialogue.

What files might you choose to keep on your clients?

I keep very minimal files because I like to keep everything very simple. I use a two-page Coaching Agreement that spells out: this is how much it costs, this is how many meetings, please call me at this number for our coaching sessions. I also request the client to sign their consent that I may use their contact information for ICF coaching credentialing. This way I don’t have to ask again later; I already have it available.

I also provide a four-page Welcome Packet where I request goals for coaching, how the client would like be acknowledged, what they’re most proud of – all prior to my very first coaching/foundation session. After that I just have a regular notebook with white paper! As clients are speaking I’m writing notes, drawing pictures, creating lines and arrows. Most importantly, I write a list of coaching requests, so when I open the client folder, I can see immediately what the requests were before starting the next session. I also keep a copy of the client’s check or PayPal information in the individual file.

What policy do I have regarding last-minute cancellations?

I really don’t have very many no-shows. I do request 24-hour notice for cancellations/reschedules and state otherwise I will charge for the session. I request it in the coaching agreement to set the stage for coaching commitment. However, if there’s a problem, they’ll almost always let me know in advance. Even if when a client comes to the session I am sometimes inspired to ask, “Are you in the space for coaching right now?” I have a lot “Recovering Type A’s” as clients and if they miss a session or they’re late, they beat up on themselves. I say not to worry, we can always find a way to reschedule. I’ve never not been able to reschedule. I hope this inspires a higher level of acceptance and trust in me as a coach.

Can coaching be considered “preventive maintenance”?

I schedule a coaching session every week so that I have “preventive maintenance.” It’s like taking your car to the mechanic when there’s a flat tire. Without regular car maintenance, the probability is much higher that I’ll experience issues that leave me little choice for solutions other than getting towed. The same is true with coaching – this way I regularly release my gremlins and self-sabotaging behaviors. Otherwise by the time I feel the “need” to schedule a coaching session, I’m probably way far gone and on my way to a meltdown. For one client who showed up for the session but was considering rescheduling, he asked, “Well what can we talk about today?” I reviewed my notes from our prior session and made some suggestions of what we could discuss. I honored where he was coming from, and ultimately let my client decide how he wanted to proceed. He decided to continue. It turned out to be one of our best coaching sessions together.

Again, thank you, Joanne, for your great questions!

What are some tools that have helped propel your business forward? Please share your tips below.

what really works?

(Even though the title is short, this blog post is long.  It is an important one, so please keep reading until the end. I think you will be very glad you did.) 

I am a lifelong learner, and am always on the lookout for new ways of doing things.  In April, I decided to try a new enrollment process that I had learned not too long before, and I followed the directions just as I was taught.   It worked very well.

When I looked at my numbers, I realized that 23% of the sessions that I held resulted in paying clients.  That was a good result, and worth my time for sure, but I felt that I could have done better.

I took some time to learn a bit more and tweak the process, and tried my new enrollment process 2 months later.  This time, 71% of the sessions I held resulted in paying clients.  That was quite exciting for me!

As I reflected back on what had happened, I realized that I made a few small tweaks to the enrollment process, and caused a massive change in results!

The first tweak was a mindset shift on my part.   Before I tell you about that, let me share what one of my clients wrote to me after I taught her this enrollment process (when she wrote me, I realized that this process would definitely work for others, too):

Hi Karen,

Thanks again for sharing the enrollment process.

I tried it out today with a prospect, in person, and it really went well for me.  I felt really comfortable using it and more like I was coaching, rather than selling.  It did take a bit of time, about an hour, and I am comfortable with that at this point.

My intention for the conversation is to discover more about the client, where they are looking for support, and whether I feel I can support them.  I don’t want to rush through that as I think it’s an important piece of establishing the relationship and I want them to have a quality, valuable experience.  

For the women I am working with, it is often their first time reaching for support in this way, and I want them to feel heard.  The fact I was able to do it in person makes me feel even more confident,  That was my first in-person prospect session and I thought it would be really stressful.  Not at all — it flowed beautifully!

~Coach for Working Mothers

I want to acknowledge this amazing coach for her authenticity, and for creating a quality experience for her client!

Okay, I promised to share the mindset shift that really allowed me to have such a high success rate.  I want to begin with a lead in, so you can see the progression of my thoughts.

I am already aware that each new coach contacting me for a complimentary consultation is spiritually sent to me. I have always known this.  I also know that it is my job to hold a sacred space for each new coach’s dream of making a life AND A LIVING.

I have never wanted to push anyone into coaching, or use scare tactics, or hyped marketing.  So, in my April enrollment process, and in fact, in every enrollment conversation I have had in the past 10 years, I have shied away from asking questions like “What will happen in 6 months if you don’t get a coach?” or “Tell me about the frustration of not getting the clients you want.”

When prospective clients said to me, “I’m not ready” or “I’ll let you know,” I took them at their word.  I let them take responsibility for themselves, and put them on a list to contact in the future.  I did not want to go anywhere near ‘overcoming their objections.’  Even those words sound so pushy to me!

My ‘aha’ moment and mindset shift around the enrollment conversation was that in the exact moment when I took them at their word, I abandoned the sacred space for their dream.  That is a pretty strong statement.  Yet that is the word that came to me from my guidance as to what I was doing.

When someone really wants something, and they start moving toward it, their gremlins will come out and try to talk them into staying where they are.  I know that this happens in coaching, and have helped many clients get past their gremlins.  I am very familiar with this concept and I bet you are, too.

What I had not fully realized is that this happens in the enrollment conversation, too.  Since it is my job to hold the space for their dream, I must help them get past their gremlins in that moment and get into coaching.  Coaching is the safe place for them to land.  If I do not help them get into coaching, they will be out there on their own and saying ‘no’ to their dream.

And I also became aware of the fact that the each time they said ‘no’ to their dream, it deflated just a bit.  I knew that I did not want to deflate anyone’s dream.  Ever.  When my mindset shifted, I was able to have a different enrollment conversation.

Now, I am able to support those who came to me to make their dream come true.  I am able to help my prospective clients sort out those solid good reasons for not moving forward with coaching from those fears that plagued them, and help them to gain clarity about which is which.  I am their coach, their champion, the wind beneath their wings, their soft place to land.

This is the mindset that really changed things for me, and has helped me help others in a profound way:  the understanding that many times there are gremlins keeping clients from attaining their dreams, and they will show up in the enrollment process.  I have the knowledge of what to do with gremlins.  I learned it as a brand new coach.  I  just now apply it to the enrollment process.

This is the mindset part of ‘what really works’ to support both the prospective client and the coach in the enrollment process!  Stay tuned next week for another tweak I made in the enrollment process which caused more ‘aha’ moments for me.

I hope you have enjoyed this extra long post.  I have written it for you, so that you can change your mindset and tweak your own enrollment process.

Wishing you a most wonderful week!

Love and Great Joy,

Karen

P.S.  And, if you are interested in learning more about this process and want to experience it first-hand, send an email to info@karencappello.com and ask for the questions that will start you through this enrollment process yourself.  You will get to experience it from start to finish.  🙂

I surprised myself…!

About a month ago, I began offering VIP days to my clients.  The response has been phenomenal, as there are many coaches who like to get things done quickly and easily.   I have always been a person that likes to move at a faster pace than most, and many of my clients tend to like that same pace.

Yesterday, things happened in a VIP session that even surprised me!

First of all, instead of a full VIP day, my client and I started with a ½ day virtual session (a three hour block of time).  I knew that we would be able to get the agenda items done that we had laid out.  But I really underestimated the power of the coaching process.  Yes, even after coaching over 3,500 hours myself, and listening to even more hours of laser coaching sessions, I forgot how quickly things can get accomplished!

In this 3 hour VIP session with a new coach (who had been coaching for 2.5 years), we:

– received a niche that is very aligned with her and has the means to pay,

– created a simple and powerful marketing plan,

– re-structured her pricing package, and

–  re-worded her website to reflect the changes.

AND all of this was accomplished in less than 3 hours (we finished 10 minutes early).

What would normally have taken months of individual coaching is now done.  In the next 10 days, she will have her website updated to reflect the changes, and she is off and running with a very clear and focused plan.  I am so pleasantly surprised and pleased.

I know that there are coaches who are concerned about their niche, and struggling to make a living in coaching.  I hear about this every day.

Maybe you are one of these coaches.  If so, I want to help you.  There is no need to have this ‘worry energy’ hanging over your head, day after day.  There is no need to wonder if you have what it takes.

Just think, in 3 hours, you could have clarity about who your ideal clients are and how to move forward in attracting them, and have a really focused plan, knowing exactly what steps to take.  It’s that simple.

Send an email to info@karencappello.com to find out how you can get the peace of mind that comes from having a focused plan to implement.  Send it now.

Maybe you will even surprise yourself at how easy it is to make your business work for you!

Wishing you a most wonderful day!

Love and Great Joy,

Karen

They wanted to coach with me anyway!

For the past nine years, I have been helping coaches develop their practices using spiritual principles.  I was very fortunate to receive my niche within the first 9 months of my business.  It was very clear to me that I was meant to work with coaches, and I said a whole-hearted ‘Yes’ to this invitation from the universe.

This idea of niche is one that perplexes many coaches.  We are expansive people.  We want to help everyone.  We work so well on the inner game, and know that this is where our clients need to work to have anything and everything that they desire.

It is not easy for us to limit ourselves to working with one type of client.  We are so positive, that we do not like to even focus on the question “what is the problem?”  We do not like to speak about what is not working in order to connect with those that are looking for our services.

Yet focusing in on a certain type of person and specific topic that we can coach around is an essential foundation for our coaching businesses.  It gives us a focus for our writing and our speaking.  It helps us create information products that are customized, and programs that are tailored for a specific group of people.

As I said, I have had my niche for many years.  But the events of this past week have reminded me of another less obvious benefit of having a well defined coaching niche.  I was reminded on two occasions that even though I have a niche, it allows others to come to me for help, too.

One afternoon last week, I found myself at my aesthetician’s office.  And the amazing young woman who works on me told me she is leaving the office.  She is looking for a job and has had some really ‘mis-aligned’ interviews during this search.  She wants me to coach her.  (And might I add, she offered to pay me, and even insisted on it, so this was not someone looking for free coaching!).

And it happened again, the next night.  Over dinner, a friend of one of my neighbors asked me if I would coach him around navigating his way through a company buy-out.  This is a very experienced and intelligent person, who wants some brainstorming support.

Both of these people know that I coach coaches.  Yet that did not stop them from asking me to coach them.  I actually say this to my clients all the time.  Pick a very specific niche.  It will not keep others from coaching with you.  In fact, the idea that you are a successful coach will attract them.  And they will ask – believe me, having a niche will make it easier for others to even ask.

So, if you have been concerned about really focusing your niche, or if you have been ‘coaching everyone,’ this may be the time to choose a group of people with a specific challenge that you want to work with.  Having a niche is the first step toward having a strong foundation in your business.  It is the step that everything else flows from.

I want to help you take this step, with ease and joy.  I would love to work with you on honing in on your niche, so that you can receive clients from everywhere.   If you are ready to find out the exact niche that will bring you the success you dream of, send an email to info@karencappello.com right now and ask for an application for a strategy session to help you.

Wishing you a most wonderful week!

Love and Great Joy,

Karen

Put your ‘John Hancock’ here!

There has been a lot of buzz recently about having a ‘signature program’ or ‘signature system.’  In this past week alone, I have listened to two different trainers talk about how to create one.  At ICA, where I am a faculty member, we ask coaches to create their own coaching model.   After almost 10 years in coaching, I am only now beginning to understand the major significance of having a ‘signature’ in your business – whether you call it a program, system or model.

You know the phrase, “If I knew then what I know now…”  Well, that’s how I feel about this idea of a signature system.  Even after all these years of being a coach and training coaches, I still have lots to learn!  And there is something else that I have learned the significance of that I would like to share with you.

I want to share a story with you.  When I created my own signature program, I wanted to be able to take new coaches who were starting to build their practices through a process that would help them use all of their coaching and spiritual tools to create the coaching business of their dreams.

I knew what was keeping them up at night – “Could they really create the income needed to leave their ‘day job.’  How long would that take?”  Individual and group coaching, and even information products took them only so far.  I saw that.

By giving coaches a program that would take them through the first 6-9 months of their business in a step-by-step fashion, I could really help them get launched.  And the response to the program has been phenomenal!  The coaches who are going through are not only enjoying it, they are putting in a rock solid foundation for their business – in the first month!

Whatever your signature program turns out to be, be sure to make it bold and courageous!  (The title of this post refers to John Hancock, signer of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, whose bold signature showed his courage.)  Your program is about your own unique style, just as my style is reflected in mine, and John’s in his.

And even though the program is working exceptionally well, I still want to make it even better.  That’s why last week, I signed up for a course which will help me do that.  I will keep you posted on what I learn, but in the meantime, I have some questions for you as you think about your own signature program.

What is keeping your favorite clients up at night?  What are the steps you take them through to help them?  Think about ‘reverse-engineering’ your process here.   Start with the job that they got, or the weight that they lost, and work backwards on the steps you took them through.

And, if you want to join in on the course I am taking, it starts tomorrow:  http://bit.ly/hocOfs.  I’d love to connect with you and learn right alongside of you.

I went a bit off topic this week, because I got so excited about this signature program idea.  I could not wait to share it!  I promise that the topic for next week will be Developing Your Signature Message.  Stay tuned…

Wishing you a most wonderful week!

Love and Great Joy,

Karen